What if My Kids Don’t Want to See Their Other Parent?
When splitting parenting time, your child saying, “I don’t want to go,” can stop you in your tracks. You might feel torn between honoring your child’s feelings and following a court order, and you may worry about what’s really going on in the other household. In some cases, you might be afraid that if you push your child to go, you’ll damage your relationship with them.
At Juniper Family Law, LLC, I work with parents who face this exact situation. From my office in Arvada, Colorado, I help families work through struggles with their custody agreements and make informed decisions based on the best interests of their children.
My firm serves clients in Jefferson County and throughout the greater Denver-metro area, and I’m here to help you figure out your next steps and protect your relationship with your child. Reach out to me to talk through your concerns and your options.
Reasons Children Might Resist Parenting Time
When a child refuses to see their other parent, there’s usually more beneath the surface. Therefore, it’s important to pause before reacting. The reason matters—both emotionally and legally. Some common reasons why your child might resist time with the other parent include:
Normal developmental preferences: Younger children often prefer the parent they spend the most time with. Teens may resist parenting time because of friends, activities, or a desire for independence.
Transition stress: Moving between homes can be hard. Different rules, routines, and expectations can feel overwhelming.
Loyalty conflicts: Kids sometimes feel that loving one parent betrays the other. Even subtle comments can create pressure.
Conflict between parents: Ongoing tension makes children anxious. They may refuse visits to avoid being in the middle.
Safety or well-being concerns: In some cases, a child’s refusal signals something more serious, such as inappropriate behavior, substance abuse, or neglect.
In these cases, you should not dismiss your child’s feelings or assume that refusing parenting time automatically changes your legal obligations. An experienced family law attorney can help you sort out whether what’s happening calls for emotional support, legal action, or both.
What Colorado Courts Expect From Parenting Time Schedules
In Colorado, parenting time is governed by court orders. If there’s an existing custody agreement in place, both parents are required to follow it. A child’s refusal doesn’t invalidate that order.
Colorado judges expect parents to actively support their child’s relationship with the other parent, even when tensions exist between the adults. You’re required to encourage and facilitate court-ordered parenting time rather than leaving it up to the child to decide. Above all, you must make reasonable, good-faith efforts to comply with the court-ordered schedule.
If you simply allow your child to skip visits without taking meaningful action, the court will treat that as a failure to follow the existing order. The judge can then award make-up parenting time to the other parent to compensate for missed visits.
Depending on the nature of the violation, the court could also find you in contempt, which carries strict penalties, including fines, orders to pay the other parent’s attorney’s fees, and even changes to decision-making authority or parenting time if the court concludes that you aren’t supporting the child’s relationship with the other parent.
If there are legitimate safety concerns, the court will address them—but you must raise them properly. That means filing the appropriate motion and presenting evidence. At Juniper Family Law, LLC, I can help you gather documentation, request hearings, and seek court intervention when necessary so the issue is handled properly.
When Does a Child’s Refusal Signal a Bigger Problem?
Sometimes resistance is typical childhood behavior. Other times, it’s a red flag. If your child expresses fear, reports inappropriate behavior, or describes conditions that raise safety concerns, you shouldn’t ignore it. At the same time, withholding parenting time without legal backing can put you at risk. In situations involving serious concerns, you may need to:
Request a modification of parenting time: If circumstances have changed substantially for you or the other parent, the court will review whether the current schedule continues to serve the child’s best interests.
Ask for supervised parenting time: When there are safety concerns, supervision can protect the child while preserving the parent-child relationship.
Seek emergency restrictions: If a child is in immediate danger, the court will consider emergency motions to restrict parenting time.
Involve a child and family investigator (CFI) or parental responsibilities evaluator (PRE): The court can appoint a neutral professional to investigate and make recommendations.
Each of these steps requires specific filings and supporting information. The court won’t change your custody agreement based on informal complaints alone. I can guide you through the process so that your concerns are documented and presented clearly. If your child’s resistance feels intense or out of character, it’s worth taking seriously.
How to Support Your Child If They
It’s possible to take your child’s feelings seriously while also respecting your custody agreement. Children benefit from structure. They also benefit from knowing that both parents are committed to their well-being. Even when parenting time is strained, modeling calm and consistency reassures your child.
If the current schedule truly isn’t working, Colorado law provides a path to request a modification. The court will evaluate the child’s best interests based on specific statutory factors, including the child’s adjustment to home, school, and community, the mental and physical health of the parties, and each parent’s ability to encourage a positive relationship with the other parent.
Wile older children’s preferences may be considered when modifying orders or making decisions, they aren’t the deciding factor. Judges will look at the totality of circumstances. If your child is a teenager who strongly resists visits, that will be weighed alongside other evidence—not treated as the sole reason to change the schedule.
Take Action to Protect Your Custody Agreement and Your Child
You don’t have to face parenting time challenges alone. Getting guidance early can make a big difference for both you and your child. At Juniper Family Law, LLC, I am committed to helping parents explore why their children are resisting time with one parent
From my office in Arvada, Colorado, I represent clients in Jefferson County and throughout the greater Denver-metro area who are trying to do the right thing for their children while staying on the right side of the law. If you’re struggling with parenting time disputes or questions about your custody agreement, reach out to me today to schedule a consultation.
